JUNE 24, 1917 - OCTOBER 21, 1999

The Struggle to Be Free: The Living Legacy of Wayne E. Oates June 24, 1917 - October 21, 1999 Eulogy for Dr. Wayne E. Oates Delivered by Dr. James A. Hyde during the Memorial Service October 25, 1999 On October 21, 1999, Dr Wayne E. Oates died. As they say in South Carolina, "He was a good man." This is a eulogy to Wayne E. Oates. A eulogy is a speech or written document in praise of, tribute to, or blessing of a person; a commendation or a tribute. Wayne would be proud that I quoted from the dictionary. Deciding what to say about Wayne is like being invited to a dinner banquet with every imaginable type of food presented. Where do you start? There is so much from which to choose. Here is what I have chosen. You may choose other things. A "Struggle To Be Free" is a tribute to Wayne E. Oates, son, grandson, loyal husband, loving father, steadfast friend, preacher, pastor, teacher, researcher, writer, and pioneer. A prominent professor of The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary from 1947 to 1974 and the University of Louisville School of Medicine, Department of Psychiatry, from 1974 to 1991, Dr. Wayne E. Oates died at Baptist Hospital on Thursday, October 21,1999. He was 82 years old. He was born on June 24, 1917 in Greenville, South Carolina and was a long time member of St. Matthews Baptist Church in Louisville. He is survived by his wife of 57 years, Pauline Rhodes Oates, a son, Charles Edwin Oates and a grandson, William Wayne Oates, Jr. This past May Pauline's and Wayne's son Bill died. Born in the poverty stricken rural country of Greenville, South Carolina, and hardened by the deprivation experienced in that cotton mill town, Wayne Edward Oates began his struggle to be free. In fact, struggle was the central theme in his life. He knew first hand the financial, social and emotional poverty of his family's culture. He also knew, first hand, the suffering caused by chronic pain. His life was filled with many struggles about his place in this world. He wrote eloquently about these struggles. Listen to his words: Any effort to be free of poverty calls for a stubborn, gutsy struggle. It is uphill all the way" ….Education became my God-given path to freedom. God does not intend that human intelligence be snuffed out by hunger, grinding poverty, and a squalid lack of care and discipline. I know this: that once we have won the struggle to be free of poverty, God intends that we have a burning sense of social justice that is dedicated to the enabling of others in that same struggle. Abandoned by his father at birth and resented by his brothers, Wayne turned to his grandmother, mother and sister Lois for guidance, education and nurture. His Grandmother was central in shaping the person Wayne was to become. She taught him to read and write and to love words. He quoted her often. Many of you remember the quote, "Every tub has to sit on it's own bottom." This and other sayings were his way of integrating the language of poverty into the massive intellectual culture to which Wayne entered. He never "got above his raisin" or "too big for his britches." Over the past years, Henlee Barnette and I met Wayne for lunch almost every Friday and swapped stories and sayings from our families of origin. We were often competitive with each other on just how poor we were: One of my favorite sayings is, "It was so poor in those parts of the country that a rabbit had to pack its lunch when it crossed that section of the county." Another favorite of mine is: "don't put your bucket in a dry well." Wayne appreciated these saying and savored the wisdom expressed in their words. For me and hundreds of other thirsty students like me, he was no dry well!! We drank deep of the water he gave. His love for words made him a wordsmith. He loved his dictionaries and the wisdom he gained from their pages. Words were his life. I have selected the following words to honor my friend, colleague, mentor and spiritual guide. Wounded healer: Wayne wrote "poverty leaves you with wounds to your self- esteem." He was wounded by the deprivation he knew. He was wounded by the abandonment of his father. He was wounded by the resentment of his brothers. He was wounded by chronic back pain. It is an incredible story to hear of how Wayne struggled to be free from these wounds. Think about it. As a fourteen year old poverty ridden boy he became a page to Senator "Cotton El Smith" in Washington D.C. Because of his poverty he was ill prepared to meet and engage the "pages from privileged homes." He had a social collision with feelings of shame and inferiority. He honestly and painfully writes, "I had a body odor, dental problems, bad breath, and strange speech patterns. For the first year I was tormented, hazed, ridiculed, and beat up on by these people." He was isolated and lonely. Wayne channeled these feelings into attending night school to learn English, math and typing. Education was his way out of poverty and was his method in dealing with inferiority and loneliness. Every struggle was turned into an opportunity to gain knowledge and self-confidence. And so he did. With the help of various congressional staff members, he had his teeth fixed and was tutored in proper English. His wounds became avenues of healing. He gained knowledge and self worth. Wayne went on to graduate from Mars Hill Junior College, Wake Forest University, and The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. He was the organizing chaplain for the Kentucky Baptist Hospital, Central State Hospital and Louisville General Hospital. He became a supervisor in the Association of Clinical Pastoral Education, a Diplomate in the American Association of Pastoral Counselors, and a Fellow and approved supervisor in the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists. In 1984 the American Psychiatric Association conferred on him the Oskar Pfister Award for his contribution to the relationship between psychiatry and religion. His struggle to be free lead him to a national and international reputation as a teacher, researcher, writer and healer. As a wounded healer he developed the capacity to empathize with others. His compassion was born out of gratitude for his struggle. He cared about what happened to people. He knew what could happen. He was living proof! From that point on he was on mission. His "God - given gift of intellect" ushered him forward to be a central figure in the development of the field of psychology of religion. He wrote and published 57 books. He is the author and co-author of hundreds of articles. He coined the term "workaholic." How is that for struggling?? Not bad for a wounded healer!! He writes, "the blessing that poverty brought us is evident in the skills it taught us…." And skills he gained. Pastoral Presence: Wayne had a presence about him. He could be intimidating and inviting. Students were often awed by the mythology of his reputation. He understood that quality of his life and used it to empower people. Like me, many of you here have been blessed by him. He called you out and challenged you to join in the struggle to be free. Your poverty may have been different but you know that he understood. Male and female, he may have invited you to be a student, a graduate fellow, an instructor, a chaplain, a colleague, a counselee or a patient. Nevertheless, you remember his presence. He was attentive to you and took you seriously. That "bare attention" was both disturbing on the one hand and comforting on the other. He held us accountable for our struggle. If it were academics he was a task- master. He once said, "I know God can forgive sin but I don't know about stupidity." In graduate school the struggle was to be free of stupidity. Believe me, there was much struggle. If our struggle was personal, he was there. Fully human he extended his compassion to hear our deepest fears. He knew depression and chronic pain first hand. He knew loneliness and abandonment. He knew rage and anger. He knew anxiety. These he had learned from his own wounds. So he sat with us in our pain. He became fully present to the hurt, the anger and the existential loneliness. In Ezekiel 3:15, God instructs the prophet to go to the captives and "sit where they sit." That same idea is found in John 1:14, "And the Word was made flesh and dwelt among us." (sat where we sat) This amazing ability to be presence is a visitation from God. Wayne knew how to be present. Many of you have had this experience and know what I mean. It was from this type of experience that I developed my definition of what it means to be pastoral. Pastoral care and counseling is the art of listening to the mundane story of others with the expectation that the sacred will break through. Wayne believed this and spoke of counseling as a trialogue. He was a pastor who knew how to be present and believed that God joined the process. For Wayne, the incarnation of Jesus Christ was the central theological theme of Presence. It is God revealed in Christ who sits where we sit. Love of Children: Wayne loved children. He would stop in the hall at the clinic when he saw a child and start a conversation. Often he would place his hands on their heads and bless them. He wrote letters to them. His book, On Becoming Children of God, was an expression of his undying curiosity about children and healthy spiritual development. In some ways his struggle as a child was transformed into blessings when he saw a child. It was as though he was seeing the potential of that child's struggle to be free. Steadfast in his care of others, especially the disenfranchised, he saw the child in all of us. Sometimes it was the wounded child and other times it was the child of wonder. He loved his children. He talked of them every chance he got. He savored their accomplishments and wept over their pain. He knew they had to struggle for themselves while he struggled to find ways to help them. He sought avenues to help them prepare for their struggle to be free and he stood by them. In some ways his students were his children. He challenged us and celebrated our victories over the struggles in our lives. Look at us now. There are men and women who are doctors, lawyers, social workers, marriage and family therapists, pastors, professors, chaplains and pastoral counselors. We are the living legacy of Wayne Edward Oates. Of all the accomplishments in Wayne's life, finding and marrying Pauline Rhodes was his finest hour. She was the orchid of his life. With her by his side he found the energy to live and have his being. Pauline and Charles look at the fruits of Wayne's struggle to be free. Decide for yourself, has he been successful?? Pauline answered this question with a poem she gave me by Emerson. Listen to the words: To laugh often and much, To win the respect of intelligent people And the affection of children, To earn the appreciation of honest critics And endure the betrayal of false friends, To appreciate beauty, To find the best in others, To leave the world a bit better, Whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, Or a redeemed social condition, To know that even one life has breathed Better because you have lived, This is to have succeeded. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson Wayne E. Oates is free from the struggle and his legacy lives on in us! THANKS BE TO GOD!!