I first met Dr. Oates in my work as a student at SBTS when I was taking Advanced Pastoral Counseling which was taught through the Program in Ethics and Pastoral Counseling at University of Louisville School of Medicine. I was also his Garrett Fellow in his last years of teaching at the Seminary. He has been my teacher, a mentor, a collegue and a friend.

During my Th.M. work at Southern my home church decided to stop my scholarships and when Dr. Oates found this out he quietly began to help me to pay for that semester. Sometimes he would hand me cash and at other times he would tell clients to make their checks payable to me...he only asked that I send these people a thank you note. At the end of the semester I had received the amount of my previous scholarship.

What I remember most about him is his tenacity under trying circumstances at the Seminary and in his personal life. When I was completing my Ph.D. work at SBTS I got very frustrated with the new "regime" and felt stressed at trying to jump through all the hoops to finish up my work on my degree. I talked about this with Dr. Oates one day and he said, "Cathy, just remember those hoops are lined with velvet." After that, I kept reminding myself of those words and the hoops became less painful. I have also passed this comforting message on to my own students and supervisees. His legacy continues in so many of our lives and continues as we pass his gifts on to others.

I know he touched so many lives and I feel so honored to have known him and to have had him in my life these past 11 years. He has truly been a blessing to me and my children. Thank you Dr. Oates, and thank you Pauline for sharing him with all of us. God be with you in your time of grief.....