I first met Dr. Oates in August of l968. I was a frightened, miserable husband and dad of two children. Dr. Oates was writing his book, WHEN RELIGION GETS SICK. He was working with Dr. Roger White at Norton's Psychiatric Clinic. For one year I had the privilege of meeting with Dr. Oates for an hour plus each week. Having been in the military during the Vietnam Era I understood his extreme anguish and appreciated his humanness. Dr. Oates introduced me to Victor Frankl and Paradoxical Intention as I wrestled with life and death. He taught me that at the moment of conversion the Christian had already died and death, therefore, had no power over the Christian. He helped me to see and understand that I was somebody as he gave me two books, one entitled ARE YOU NOBODY? And the other one, THE STRUGGLE OF THE SOUL. I now serve as the minister of Parkview United Methodist Church. I am here partly because of Dr. Oates' influence and mentoring.

My last conversation with him came back in the spring on a dreary, rainy afternoon, about four o'clock. I called and said to him, "Dr. Oates, this is Roger Newell. I was just sitting at my desk and wanted to call and thank you for your encouragement, support, and part in my ministry. As was his style, he replied, "How nice. Thanks for thinking of me."

I will always remember that Dr. Oates always made me feel significant, while he indeed is the significant one. In one of his books he signed, "Thanks for being my friend." I will always cherish that comment.